Your friends are getting married and having babies. I often wonder what you'd be doing in your life by now, at the ripe old age of 26. I wonder if you and she met before she came here. She almost has your birthday, and she was conceived on a cycle that began September 3rd. She has some of your facial expressions, which is such a blessing, but also a constant reminder that you are not here with us. Although she does still look primarily like Craig, she is looking more like me, and if you put pictures of all three of us at age 2 in a row, we all look like the same girl.
Of course I wish you were here to be a real, tangible part of Ainslie's life. I do, however, feel sorry for myself almost daily, and I'm sorry if that is selfish, but there are so many things I wish we could share in this life. I know Heaven is a much funnier place with you there. I've never felt sorry for you you are perfect, full of knowledge and with the Lord. I can still remember so vividly the weight (your weight) on the bed as you told me that you would speak to me in dreams so we could remain close, and you have, although maybe not as much lately, when my mind is so full of other clutter. I still believe you were there with me that night, in our old room at home. I realize now that is foolish, for although I carry you with me always, you are always too far away, and I miss you terribly. I remember thinking at the time that someday it would get easier to bear at some point I wouldn't miss you so much.
I really can't believe it's been a decade today since you passed away from us.
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